by 
As a joke, A-Is-For-Aric and I decided to enter the American Idol songwriting competition. This is schmaltz like your Bubbe would spread on her bagel. Try to listen without gagging. Actually, Aric plays the 80’s ballad keyboard masterfully. And the lyrics are particularly bold.
Breaking a Record
By J. Gordon WrightFace the light
Face their eyes
Ask myself
Is it timeTurn the page
Take the stage
Ask myself
Is it mineLook without seeing a thing
Hear without listening
To the sound that’s calling me| Maybe I’m breaking a record tonight
| Breaking through something I’ve held inside
| Maybe this time when they shine the light
| I could be the one
| Maybe this is something I have to try
| Never did I think I would get this high
| Suddenly it’s starting to seem like I just might
| Break a record tonightUsed to think
It’s out of reach
Tell myself
Not to feelBut now I see
This could be me
If I tell myself
That it’s realSo many things I could be
They will come if I believe] Excuse me if I repeat myself
] I just want to get it right
] Say it till there’s nothing left to hide
] I try to hear what’s etched inside
] I try to hear the track
] It’s time to turn the tables right
] ‘Cause now’s my chance, I’m breaking a record…
Wait… what’s that? Is it…? Could it be…? That’s right, key change! Damn straight.
| Tonight…
| Breaking through something I’ve held inside
| I know this time when they shine the light
| I will be the one
| This is something I knew I had to try
| And I always knew I could get this high
| Suddenly it’s starting to seem like I just might
| Break a record tonight
Listening to it now, I don’t think the schmaltz will hurt our entry. But we went waaaaay over the recommended time limit. Get comfortable:
[audio:breakarecord.mp3]Hmm… It might be the right length for Celine, maybe I should give her a call…
If that’s the best you can do, that’s Magic. Gordon, I’ll never forget your appearance at the “Tap & Spile” in Harrogate when you wowed us all with a medley of Kinks & Beatles songs and you were magnificent. The Fooled by April songs were surefire winners as most of the audience knew all the words.
This is a great move towards stardom, it has to be. What a great tune, what a lovely man.
meh… it’s no Sarah Billie
It’s no One Shining Moment, but you gotta love a key change. Is that the keyboard sound from “That’s What Friends Are For?”
Break my eardrums tonight. You know, as much as this makes me blow chunks, it will probably end up winning something.
Panem et circenses: the formula for success for 2,000 years and counting.
I think I’m going to have to go watch the Abby Road “Get Back” performance on You Tube ten times in a row as a detox. If this tune gets stuck in my head all day, I’m coming for you. You will be bludgeoned to death with a stack of Cindi Lauper vinyls. Yes, I will break a record tonight.
God help me, I kind of like it.
Also, “as a joke”? Suuuuuuure.
wow.